I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
