Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
