i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You made out with two different species that night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
