i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
