This girl is more easily done than said...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
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I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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