roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
