youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
