We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
