i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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