Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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