Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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