you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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