you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
