I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
