Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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