Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
