i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think my moral compass just broke
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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