He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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