you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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