I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
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I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
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If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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