Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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