Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
