if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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