Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
