Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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