Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize