I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
