woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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