I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
