real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
