if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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