Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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