literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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