mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
