I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
