so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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