haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
