Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
