they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize