I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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