I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
this boner is exhausting
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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