I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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