Michael Bay diarrhea
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
