You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Me too!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I have tasted many bathrooms
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
