fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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