If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
