I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
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I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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