We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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