i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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