Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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