you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
