i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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