shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
