Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
