sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
