then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
