looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
