you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
