They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
