I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
