oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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