I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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