A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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