Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
